As a success coach, I’ve found that there’s one thing many of my clients have in common when we first start working together: they struggle to sleep.
Here’s another interesting thing they share in common: the same clients often tell me they’re logging 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night.
So what gives?
Barring the very real challenges of insomnia, how is it possible to actually sleep without feeling rested, refreshed, and ready to go in the morning?
As much as we talk about the importance of a good night’s sleep, we often fail to talk about what makes ours bodies and minds feel like they’ve earned that sleep.
I know what you’re thinking… What does it mean to earn your sleep?
You know that fatigue you feel at the end of the day, both mental and physical, when you finally head to bed? Well, examine it.
Ask yourself, how does it feel to go to bed? Are you looking forward to resting and recuperating to start a new day?
Or, do you find yourself just throwing in the towel, eager to end yet another day of going through the motions?
Far too many of us are going to sleep every night over-exhausted, yet feeling like we have nothing to show for it.
The examples of this are infinite, but it comes down to something very simple:
We know that we aren’t giving our all to what matters most.
Some examples my clients have shared with me include:
- They’re putting their best energy towards something they don’t truly believe in.
- They’re not giving their all to their marriage.
- They’re not fully showing up for their work.
- They’re not truly engaged with their kids.
- They’re ignoring their personal finances.
- They’re making poor dietary and health decisions.
- They’re on cruise control, going through the motions of life and living on autopilot.
Does this sound familiar?
Feelings like these, even if we don’t directly acknowledge them, can gnaw at us till they hit us at our core—no matter how much we hope they’ll go away.
It’s like an app we’re unaware of that’s quietly running in the background, taking up all of our much-needed processing speed.
And eventually, this adds up to an underlying anxiety that not only negatively affects our sleep, but also drains our energy day to day.
So, how can you start to sleep better—and in turn, live better?
Sounds like a cliché, I know. But commitment isn’t a one-time thing. We have to recommit every day. If it sounds daunting, start small with just 15 minutes a day dedicated to what matters most to you: your kids, your marriage, your passion project.
Second: Get focused.
People aren’t as “crazy busy” as they say they are. When we can’t make the time to focus on what matters most, chances are we aren’t just distracted—we’re avoiding being honest with ourselves about something.
Third: Demand more of yourself.
I know what you’re thinking: I’m already exhausted at the end of the day, and now you’re telling me to do more? Well, let me put it this way… when you demand better with your time and recommit to the things that matter most, we actually find ourselves energized and driven by a sense of purpose.
Lastly, remind yourself every day why you’re doing what you’re doing—why you wake up every day.
We’re talking about your purpose in this world. If you struggle with finding that purpose, working with a coach could be exactly what you need.
Because earning your sleep isn’t just about closing your eyes and keeping them closed until the morning. It’s about knowing that day in and day out, even if only in small ways, we’re keeping that fire in our belly alive to live what we know is our best life.
And that is the secret to how to sleep better.